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EXit if you hate it.
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...written on 2008-11-06, @ 12:24 p.m.
So maybe I like it, that he is the irrational part of me. The one that says pack your bags and run away. Because isn't that what I have been trying to do for 7 years. Trying to pack my bags and run.
But everytime I start to pack, every first step I take out that door, knocks my confidence a little more because a chorus of voices are telling me, "you're not ready." We all have some growing up to do when we first run away but it is a big part of how we grow up. Or at least, that is what I think.
So maybe I need to understand the value of a dollar by living without one to spare for awhile. Or maybe, like him, I need to make a decision whether I'm ready for it or not.
I know it isn't entirely about me though and it never has been. I don't resent you for that. I really don't. You're just scared and you love me and you want to hold on a little longer.
But really, at this point you would have been holding him and here you are telling me I'm not ready. Were you? Probably not but you made it work.
So maybe I'm naive enough to believe that or maybe I know that you want more for me than what you had. I don't really know. I know what I want my life to be though and I know this could be my opportunity. So what's so wrong with that?